In Spite of All the Danger


    Still Here. Still intend to be here…..then. “What a world, what a world”, in the words of one flabbergasted witch in the throes of sudden loss of molecular itegrity. Well, time is the fire in which we burn and in last moment’s hindsight the whole of our linear experience may seem like a bucket of cold water in the face. Or not. We’ll see. That’s one certain thing. We’re gonna know.

     Just watched a truly energizing movie called ‘Leaves of Grass’ where Edward Norton plays a brilliant up’n comin’ classical philosophy  professor (while simultaneously playing his own marijuana smoke soddened twin brother) and he muses at one point on the pointlessness of the fear of death as once you’re dead you are no longer aware, at least of this world, ergo you’re free from dying, so what’s to fear. Well, we’re hard wired for self preservation in a list of ways that are still there whether we acknowledge them or no.

      Still, knowing that fear of not existing comes from a nervous system that’s bloomed incrementally over millions of years, just as knowing that pain is only the physical being’s built in safety mechanism is an important part of not being tethered to or focused on these phenomenon in any sort of unhealthy or life restricting way.

      I’ve heard that every atom in your body came from a star, either our own, the sun, or one of ’em in the night sky. I remember sitting with that idea….for a while…until everything around me seemed like the hot, gold ashes of fireworks that glittered down and turned into us, this, the world we know. How is it that we aren’t crazed with excitement and enthusiasm all the time, and is that what the future holds? A time where we’re fueled by wonder and set about to accomplish great things incessantly as opposed to now and then?

       I was lucky. I have memories going all the way back to my first coupla years of this life. I remember my biological mom singing ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ well before I was given up for adoption just before my fourth birthday. The list of events and circumstances that created in me a need to play the saxophonist is long and it’s been tough going, on and off for some time. But as I pondered all this recently after watching another great movie, ‘Nowhere Boy’ about the childhood of John Lennon, it hit me that this sort of thing is going on all the time. John Lennon had a pressure cooker in his chest growing up, dealing with less than ideal familial issues but he was pushed to become a musician as a result…..a musician…yeah, right, I mean a Beatle.

      It seems like our collective human consciousness has some pressure cooker-like attributes. Everything seems out of hand on the world stage right now, whether it’s the economy, environment, politics or religious tension. You best fuckin’ believe that some are our answers can be found in some of the songs written by Mr. Lennon. Like which songs? Get online, google Beatles/John Lenneon/lyrics, etc. Simplicity often seems trite and fatuous, but simplicity is often the form the best remedies come in. It’s been true in my little corner of life.


~ by edmundsax67 on October 16, 2011.

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